What does communication mean and why is it so essential to you and your significant other? Communication can sometimes feel like a double-edged sword for some people, and they feel like the more they communicate the more information the other person can hold over their head when it comes to disagreements. But is this really the reasons why we keep certain doors closed in a relationship or is it because we are feared getting judged? In an article called, “Why Communication is Important in a Relationship” by Jessica Sag, explains it perfectly in her short blog. She states, “Building good relationships with other people can greatly reduce stress and anxiety in your life. In fact, improving your social support is linked to better mental health in general, since having good friends can act as a “buffer” for feelings of anxiety and low mood. Effective communication is a way to advocate for one’s self, be better understood by others and help one get his or her thoughts and feelings across to others in a positive and safe manner. Being respectful of others’ needs with positive communication strengthens all relationships.”
Communication is the only way any one person can express themselves. Everyone experiences roadblocks in life and whether that is feeling like there is something missing from the relationship or just the need to get something off their chest. In most cases someone will communicate with their significant other and get backlash from the information, which causes people to pull back and be traumatized from the situation. It is common for individuals to carry bad relationship traits to a new relationship purely out of the assumption everyone will act the same. Communication also can end up not being effective if both parties are not mature enough to obtain a rational conversation. “People often confuse communication for talking or making conversation, and this is the root cause of why many of these same people are so unsuccessful when it comes to how to communicate better. Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs. It’s not about making small talk. It’s about understanding your partner’s point of view, offering support and letting your partner know you are their number one fan” , explained by Tony Robbins which is one of the biggest advocator’s for effective communication.
Furthermore, there are six fundamental things to follow when trying to effectively communicate with your significant other which are,
- Certainty
- Variety
- Connection and Love
- Growth
- Contribution
There is no secret to any of these components. Being truthful and open with your partner will be enough. On another note though, being open and honest is one thing, but always reflect on your feelings before expressing them. This is also another common cause of miscommunication. It might sound differently coming out than what you were thinking about previously.
Moreover, there are plenty for ways to get your point across without being demanding or mean. For example, if you are consistently dating someone and you want to make it clear you don’t want either party to see other people; It does not need to come off negative. For instance, say, “I don’t like to engage in a relationship where the other person is dating other people. I do not want jealousy or disease. So, if you would like to continue this journey, I want to be the only person you are seeing.” This way of putting it should be delivered kind heartedly and not aggressive. The other person should not feel attacked but understanding what the other person is expecting. Also, things like this should not be expressed over texts. “Texting is a great way to let your partner know that you’re running late, to confirm things, and to exchange quick, loving sentiments throughout the day (such as: I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you, etc.).
However, way too many of today’s couples use SMS as the primary way of communicating with each other. Instead of calling each other, which is a much more effective, personal, and romantic way of interacting, they spend hours texting back and forth. When two people text, a lot can get lost in translation. This can often lead to miscommunication in relationships, quarrels, and outright fights. More often than not, couples find themselves saying mean or harsh things via SMS that they would NEVER say to each in person or over the phone. I call this “textual abuse”, said by Cindi Braff in her article called, “Avoiding Common Misunderstandings”
Communication has so many elements to it, but learning the way your partner or date reacts to things can create a path for better communication. We all can learn things everyday and every individual is different so learning how to accommodate different personalities will help you communicate effectively.
Works Cited
“The Key to Communication in Relationships: Tony Robbins.” Tonyrobbins.com, http://www.tonyrobbins.com/ultimate-relationship-guide/key-communication-relationships/.
“Q: Why Is Communication Important in a Relationship?” New Jersey Herald, New Jersey Herald, 22 Sept. 2016, http://www.njherald.com/lifestyle/20160922/q-why-is-communication-important-in-a-relationship.
Sansone-Braff, Cindi. “How To Avoid The 4 Common Misunderstandings That Will Ruin Any Relationship.” Everyday Power, 18 Dec. 2019, everydaypower.com/miscommunication-in-relationships/.
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